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I have not been meditating lately.

I have been doing my prayers (I do the Jesus prayer a few hundred times daily).

though I feel like I am missing #zazen so I may go do that in a minute.

The #Zen paradox is not doing requires effort. Or, at the very least an act of will.

Severe depression has taught mean there is a distinct difference between doing nothing and just sitting.

Zen is seeing something you can't unsee but also you have to pursue through a practice of not pursuing.