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disabled.social is one of the many independent Mastodon servers you can use to participate in the fediverse.
A place for people who are chronically ill, mentally ill, disabled, and friends/families/allies to come together, meet, share knowledge and random banter, and just about anything else.

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Siyeh<p>confession:</p><p>whenever someone new tells me they love me it feels like success, because I can count one more person who will care when I die. </p><p>it&#39;s not that I want people I care for to suffer, but I&#39;m so deeply scared of people not knowing me/caring when I&#39;m gone, that it offers a comfort to me. </p><p>it&#39;s always one of the first things I think, like ticking off a little box on an ever-expanding rsvp list. even if they grow to hate me later, I figure they&#39;ll still turn up to get some closure. 🫢</p>
Siyeh<p>I swear I&#39;m not trying to engage in toxic positivity, but with something that scares the crap out of me like brain damage, it&#39;s a lot easier to handle if I look for the bright side. I&#39;m stuck with this, maybe forever.</p>
Siyeh<p>Initially I had more issues with language and long memory, and moderate executive functioning issues (ADHD-like symptoms). Now I seem to have regained most of my memory abilities, and have less chaotic/more [entrenched] language issues, but my executive functioning seems to reach a new low each week; that&#39;s a little worrying, because while it can be just frontal lobe damage, the same clinical manifestations can happen as your brain loses overall [cooperation/cohesion/conductiveness]</p>
Siyeh<p>(that&#39;s the joke)</p>
Siyeh<p>Although I may stumble over my words, and have long pauses while I churn through possible options when I lose words, I feel like the speed and intentionality with which I have to speak now forces me to be a more deliberate communicator.</p><p>Though scanning written communication has gotten harder, so I do leave behind an annoying abundance of unnoticed and unfixed tropics</p>
Siyeh<p>The nice thing about having brain damage is that I have lost all my egotism, and have gotten good at being humble when I speak with others. Like when I pestered my Speech Language Pathologist this morning for a telehealth link, thinking she had forgotten to send it... only to realize the appointment was still 24 hours away.</p><p>She was very gracious 😩</p>
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Siyeh<p>&quot;Illness- you point out- is the only possible form of life in capitalism. In fact, the psychiatrist, who is wage dependent, is a sick person like each of us. The ruling classes merely give him the power to &quot;cure&quot; or to hospitalize. </p><p>Cure- this is self-evident- can&#39;t be understood in our system to mean the elimination of illness: it serves exclusively as the maintenance of the ability to go to work where one stays sick.&quot; </p><p>-Sozialistisches Patientenkollektiv (SPK) as quoted in Health Communism</p>
Siyeh<p>My nesting partner made food before I woke up, and I had to reheat it, since I had a late night. He said it hadn&#39;t been seasoned yet, so I&#39;d need to doctor it.</p><p>I turned the heat up and asked it if it was sure it wasn&#39;t just imagining its pain, and if it was actually just substance seeking.</p><p>He says he wants a divorce. 😅</p>
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Siyeh<p>No offense to the necessary aesthetics of these times, where we have been forced to wear goofy baggy white bags on our faces OR something that makes you look like you&#39;re in an antifa cell in casual company... but I feel like it&#39;s time for us to dream bigger, and have fun with end of the world fashion. No-one is ever gonna take us seriously anymore if we&#39;re still masking, so fuck em. Let&#39;s break free of expectations.</p>
Siyeh<p>I wonder if we could find readily-available rectangular P100 filter media which could be slotted into a wide downward-facing opening, without compromising seal quality, for maximum airflow and voice projection?</p>
Siyeh<p>I&#39;m thinking 3M 2091 P100 filters may be the way to go, because of the simple printable connectors, their small size, soft flexible nature, and low cost. We would just need to attach 1-2 mounts on the sides/underside of a voice resonator chamber. Though the size of the connector openings will obviously restrict vocal projection.</p><p>For that reason, I&#39;ve always been a fan of the front-filter designs with no forward wall causing deflection. but the placement is at odds with the aesthetic cover.</p>
Siyeh<p>Let me know if you have <a href="https://disabled.social/tags/3Dprinting" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>3Dprinting</span></a> or <a href="https://disabled.social/tags/3dmodeling" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>3dmodeling</span></a> experience and want to work with me on this project. </p><p>I&#39;d eventually love to come up with a blank template which anyone can customize to produce a fully functional, custom-sized and fitted mask, which satisfies both respiratory safety needs and allows expression of who they are inside.</p>
Siyeh<p>I&#39;ve decided to <a href="https://disabled.social/tags/3Dprint" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>3Dprint</span></a> my own signature <a href="https://disabled.social/tags/mask" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>mask</span></a>. Not just for viruses. For no longer masking my neurodivergence, or my disgust for a society that has decided the disabled are disposable.</p><p>I&#39;ll take the best designs of respiratory masks available on thingiverse</p><p>and acoustic resonators which can help project my voice passively</p><p>and I&#39;ll design a full-face aesthetic piece which reflects my personality</p><p>and fuse them all together, then add one-way material for my vision.</p><p>You are not owed normalcy.</p>
Siyeh<p>it&#39;s been an exhausting one</p><p>-sent from my floor</p>
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